School Bus FrenzyFebruary 25th, 2011, Posted In Games,
In-order to protect humanity from the demon within, there are jobs that I should never be allowed to do – nurse and bus driver are two of them. Especially bus driver: nurse is at least mildly sexy and out of the two I’d rather clean vomit than drive kids around. Seriously, I shouldn’t be allowed to drive with children. I’ve got enough rage in this 5ft frame to blow up a small Ethiopian Village. Yeah, now imagine that behind a wheel in rush hour, driving disabled children to Jesus camp or something. Hmmm, actually that sounds like a potential movie… “Disabled Rage; the rush hour massacre”.
No? O.k. I was just errr- kidding… Yeah just kidding.
In School Bus Frenzy your job is to guide and direct children to the safety of the bus. Problem is the bus isn’t parked in front of the school (heaven forbid why would it be!?) but across the road, where the town’s people drive like homicidal loons. Anyway you do this by clicking the mouse in the direction of the bus. You also get an allotted amount of “farts” which help boost the children.
It sounds a lot easier than it really is believe me.
There’s also a lollipop man who is fucking useless: the moment you step on him – he dies. Mind you he does look about a hundred years old, plus you get points for killing him, so I guess he’s not a total waste of time. There’s also a zebra crossing which is supposed to be “safer” to use if you want to cross the road. However I honestly didn’t find it safer at all, in fact I think this game must be set in America, because those crazy drivers had no idea what a zebra crossing was (as evident from the splattered child corpses littering the road)!
At the end of each level you’re allowed to choose one boost item – trainers for more speed or hot dogs for more farts (beans would have made more sense but hey). The games also get a lot harder as you progress; the cars are faster and lorries are added to trick you.
Disturbingly the game is actually quite enjoyable, I particularly enjoyed the “children screaming” sound effect.
Oh god that sounds so bad. What I mean to say was that the sound effect adds to the enjoyment of the game even more.
That still sounds wrong…Oh well! You get my point. The game was developed by the sick bastards down at Pyrozen and for those of you who are interested there’s also a “bloody version” as well.
I mean errr- EW.
Play School Bus Frenzy